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Thank god this guy is in Obama’s corner. A phone converstion transcript between the president-elect’s Chief of Staff and the beleaguered Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich was leaked and wow, it’s a good one. Laugh out loud stuff. People from Chicago really know how to hurl the F-word around like champs. Here it is, peeps:
RAHM EMANUEL: This is Rahm.
ROD BLAGOJEVICH: Hey Rahm, yeah it’s Rod.
EMANUEL: Uh-huh. What’s going on governor, I’m busy.
BLAGO: Well, it’s about that Senate appointment…
EMANUEL: We already gave you the list of people we like.
BLAGO: Yeah, I been looking the list over. Interesting names. Good people. How’s the transition going?
EMANUEL: It’s going fine, governor. Are you calling to fucking tell me anything, or what, cause I–
BLAGO: No no, I’m just wondering if you have all your picks already made. I heard something about Dashle for HHS–
EMANUEL: I’m not gonna discuss ongoing deliberations, gov, you know that.
Transcript continued:
BLAGO: Hey, come on Rahm, let’s not act like I’m a stranger here.
EMANUEL: Did I call you a stranger? If I thought you were a stranger, you think I’d be interrupting my important fucking business to take this fucking phone call?
BLAGO: Hey you don’t have to get curt with me, Rahm.
EMANUEL: This isn’t me being curt, Gov, this is me being fucking busy. Now what did you call about?
BLAGO: I’m just feeling you out, seeing if Valerie [Jarret] still wants that Senate seat, just wondering what kind of priority that is for the President-Elect.
EMANUEL: Actually, it’s not a priority. Valerie’s had second thoughts about the job.
BLAGO: What, she doesn’t want it anymore?
EMANUEL: She’s having second thoughts. You want more details, you ask her.
BLAGO: She won’t take my calls.
EMANUEL: Big fucking surprise.
BLAGO: What’s that supposed to mean?
EMANUEL: Um, I don’t know, what’s it supposed to mean governor? A.) You’re a fucking crook. B.) You’re a fucking asshole. C.) All of the above.
BLAGO: I’m clean Rahm, you know this. You think that fucking Fitzgerald would being twiddling his fucking thumbs if he had shit to go on?
EMANUEL: I gotta go, Gov. You appoint who you want, we really don’t give a shit.
BLAGO: What if I appoint Valerie, what if she takes it?
EMANUEL: What do you want me to say? We’d appreciate it, I’m not gonna fucking kiss your ring over it.
BLAGO: “Appreciate it”? Come on, this is a senate seat we’re talking about. It’s worth a fuck of a lot more than appreciation.
EMANUEL: You asked us for a list, we gave you a fucking list, you want to make your own list then make your own fucking list. [Raising voice] But if you’re asking for anything else from me, or Barack, or Valerie, then you can fucking stop talking right now Rod.
BLAGO: Wait a sec there Rahm. Wait just a fucking minute. Who are you to talk to me like that? I fucking made you.
EMANUEL: You made me? You made me? Tell me you’re fucking joking.
BLAGO: No no no, you listen to me shit-face. You see this list I got, the names motherfucking Obama fucking wants for the Senate. I just ripped it in two. How you like that? Oops, Harris just dropped it in the shredder. Harris?
HARRIS (muffled): Yes sir?
BLAGO: Did you just drop that list in the shredder?
[Whirring, shredder noise]
HARRIS (muffled): I did.
EMANUEL: Do you have me on fucking speakerphone?
BLAGO: It’s in the shredder, Rahm. The list is bye bye.
EMANUEL: Hold on a sec — you got me on fucking speakerphone? Who the fuck do you think I am?
BLAGO: Who are you Rahm? Who are you? You’re shit, you hear me? Don’t come back to Chicago Rahm, it’s not your town any more.
EMANUEL: Pick up the phone Rod.
BLAGO: I’ll put someone in the senate who will fucking fuck you. I might even put myself in there, how you like that Rahm? How you gonna explain that to fucking Barack, every time he’s gotta call me up for my fucking vote. He’d have to take my calls then, wouldn’t he?
EMANUEL: [Screaming] I said pick up the FUCKING phone!
BLAGO: [Picks up phone, speakerphone off] I got your attention now, didn’t I?
EMANUEL: Shut the fuck up and listen to me for one second Rod. And I want you to listen carefully, because this is the last time I’m ever going to talk to you. You are fucking dead to me. You been fucking dead to Barack since ’06, now you’re dead to me. Know what that means? That means you’re dead to my people in Chicago, Daley on down, and all these friends you think you have aren’t gonna touch you with a ten foot fucking pole.
BLAGO: Oh now you’re the fucking Godfather? Fuck you.
EMANUEL: No fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
BLAGO: Fuck you!
EMANUEL: Listen up asshole. The shit’s gonna hit the fan, maybe tomorrow, maybe next month, and when Fitz finally brings down the hammer it’s gonna be my name that’s going through your head. You won’t know the hows or the fucking whys, but it’s gonna have my fucking fingerprints all over it. Have a great life fatso.
BLAGO: Hey fuck–
EMANUEL: [Click.]
End of conversation
I can only hope that this isn’t fake. Emanuel is kinda a badass, no? I love in his second line, he’s already trying to blow off Rod. Chicago politicians are gangsta!
PS… this is fictional. But wonderful.
Well, say what you will about President George W. Bush, but the old man has the reflexes of a cat! It is amazing that he avoided getting nailed by this guys boot. Bush’s Matrix-like moves helped him duck not just one but two shoes thrown by an Iraqi journalist during a press conference in Baghdad over the weekend. Where the fuck is the Secret Service? I mean, even Steve the security guy on Springer usually gets to the guest before they can get the second stiletto off. I guess because they were in a room full of journalists and not one full of angry tranny hookers the SS thought they could take a breather. You almost feel bad for Bush in a way, not one agent diving in front of him to take a shoe for the president. Chess Master Gary Kasparov’s security swatted down that flying dildo that interrupted his press conference. The shoe thrower was scarily accurate with his weapon of choice, though. Maybe Steinbrenner can get him out of lock up in time for ’09? And sincerely, Mr. President, that maneuver was impressive. In my eyes, it might even be your legacy.
more about “Iraq pays tribute to Jerry Springer“, posted with vodpod
Here’s a video of Betty Page and Tempest Storm petting and playing. What a babe… Will write more later, at work. Long live the Pin-up!
more about “Betty Page Dies at 85“, posted with vodpod
Kind of funny in an unfunny way… Here is something else born in 1923 that died last night on the Senate floor. WTF. I don’t understand how the legislature can basically throw $700 billion at the banking industry who helped to get the economy into this mess and yet block a bridge loan to an industry powered by union workers in Detroit. Oh wait, the operative word there is “Union”. Who hates organized workers more than anything? Chris Dodd actually turned it out last night, harshly criticizing Republicans who let politics get in the way of helping an industry whose failure will trickle down throughout the country. Isn’t it the Republicans who tout the benefits of the trickle down economy? Guess they don’t care who the shit hits on the way down.
See Michael Moore’s scathing editorial at http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2008-12-12/does-the-senate-hate-the-middle-class/
I’ve been watching this story unfold, and reading every detail in disbelief, and have found as in many cases Jon Stewart has said it best. Yes, the present governor of Illinois is a Jagoff. It is pretty hilarious how many times these talking heads have to say “bleep” when quoting this guy. What was he thinking? GRRRRRR.
more about “Rod Blagojevich is a Jagoff“, posted with vodpod
I also HIGHLY recommend Wednesday’s episode, also available on Hulu.com. The Daily Show is saying goodbye to Senior Correspondent Rob Riggle, and I’ll miss his board breaking martial arts and air punches. Happy trails, friend.
UPDATE: Blagojevich’s chief of staff John Harris has resigned, leaving me wondering if they’ll have to drag this Jagoff out kicking and screaming (expletives, of course). You got caught, dude. You got caught bigtime. Not just committing crime, but sounding like a douchebag at the same time. A cocky douchebag. Three out of the last seven Illinois governors have ended up in jail on corruption counts. HELLO!! Did you think they weren’t paying attention? This country just elected the first African American president, the only black senator FROMYOURSTATE!! Everyone has been looking to Chicago. For the last two years. So although I’m always game for some cocky politician to get strung out publicly and make a scene, do the respectable thing and resign. I thought Chicago was a great town, this is an embarrassment.
